Sugar

I have that vaginal discharge again. For the last month or so, I have been eating more and different forms of sugar, sugary things: chocolate bars, dried berries and apple slices, macaroons. So I shouldn't be surprised (astonished!) by the development in my Girl Parts, but I am.

I know the discharge is an indicator of bodily distress, easy, familiar, self-harm.

Why do I do this thing, this punishment, this little death by sweets? I'm not sure that question is worth answering/answerable now (ever?). I also know I am not yet, in this moment, willing to let it go, to let it all go.

I am willing to ask for help: Spirit, Guides, please help me let go of sugar. Please help me be willing and able to see what is beyond sugar, to bear what is on the other side.