Search Me!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

How's That Vacuum-Thingy Working For Ya?

Today I went grocery (and nutritional supplement) shopping. List in hand, I got some good food. I also bought more almond butter and cashews. This is contrary to my interests (I zone out when and while I eat them; eating cashews is seldom about hunger) and my previous decision to stop buying them. they have become a near binge food for me.
So why did I buy them--in spite of my decision, in spite of my best interests?
I've let go of so much--bread, biscuits, wheat, oats, dairy, sugar, rice, and corn (mostly), but I've not brought in any replacements. And there's a vacuum, and I'm filling it, and not in the most useful or kind ways.
My friend Jill warned me about this some months ago. She asked, "So what are you doing to keep her happy? You've taken so much from that little girl [inside me], but what are you giving her in return?" The answer--for now: nothing that she wants, but some familiars that don't serve her. And Jill said, too, "You know she's going to act out if you don't take care of her." And she is. And I am.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Don't be shy! I want to know what you think...