Where Did the Hunger Go?

A lack of hunger is one of the benefits of a pretty high-fat, medium-protein, and (relatively) low carbohydrate food path (aka modified ketogenic food plan). It is also quite weird, and so unlike how I've eaten--and been driven to eat--all my life. And now that I've been supplementing my minerals (particularly magnesium, sodium, and potassium), I don't have cravings anymore, either.

There's also a certain mechanistic quality, which is curious, as well. It isn't to say that I don't look forward to eating certain foods, like salmon, for example. But it does mean that I eat because I know that's something I need to do, versus something I'm driven to do by cravings or sugar crashes/insulin rushes. I generally eat two meals a day, with the occasional snack, such as pork rinds or blueberries. (When I feel like a snack, in fact, I know it's time to eat).

I try to keep my meals about four or more hours apart, primarily so I can keep as low a level of insulin in my bloodstream as possible, one of the tools I learned from Dr. Bernstein's The Diabetes Diet. Though I'm not a diabetic, I was once diagnosed as insulin-resistant, meaning my body's cells had a diminished ability to respond to insulin. Or, as Laura Dolson says, "Insulin resistance happens when the cells essentially don't open the door when insulin comes knocking." This is a major reason I began eating low carb. Anything I can do to not boost insulin unnecessarily, I will do. 

For the same reason, I also make a point of not starting a meal with a carbohydrate, unless it is a slow-acting one, like spinach or salad greens. The one exception is if I'm going to the gym to lift within an hour or so of eating

Unsalted--and Suffering

My mood, of late, has been marvelous--no small feat for someone diagnosed years ago as having treatment-resistant depression and major depressive order. (Though the research on the benefits of a high-fat, low-carbohydrate eating plan on mood and mental disorders is inconclusive, you may want to go here.) My mind health has been tip-top. 
Unfortunately, I have been quite fatigued at the same time. (And that is a curious combination: to have an increasingly alert mind and fatigued body.) Although I've been going to the gym (pretty) regularly, I was having to reduce the amount I lifted, and nap when I came home; I was having dizzy spells, and woke up tired.

So I looked up "fatigue and low carb" on the internet and found out that salt--or the lack thereof--might be the likely reason for my troubles. 
Over at the LowCarbFriends bulletin board, for example, Vanessa120 captured my situation in a nutshell: "If you are low-carbing and feel fatigue, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, mood swings, lethargy, decreased mental alertness...you need salt."
Except for the mood swings, that was me all over. Quoting The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living (a new low-carb text by Jeff Volek & Stephen Phinney) she stated, "High carbohydrate diets make the kidneys retain salt, whereas a low carbohydrate intake increases sodium excretion by the kidney. Salt and water are more efficiently excreted, which is a good thing as long as you

Staying Ahead of the Hunger

I remember getting major surgery several years ago. I came to, screaming and howling, in my hospital room. A nurse, standing nearby, turned and said, "Press the button." "What?" I yelled. "What button?" She replied, "The one in your hand."

I looked down and there it was--a little plastic thing with a tail snaking to the morphine pump. And press I did.

If the mouse is me, then the cat is hunger!

After the morphine had dulled the pain (and a smile replaced the grimace on my face), she stayed to feed me chips of ice. She also told me something of great value: "Try and stay ahead of the pain."

That advice is extremely relevant now. That is, if I stay ahead of my hunger, I can avoid many types of pain--like fatigue, poor food choices, and that crushing urge to press the nearest carbohydrate into my mouth, and quickly. 

In the video in yesterday's post, Dr. Merritt talks about the value of staying ahead of hunger, and how not doing so causes excessive adrenal wear and tear. One tool she suggests is eating every two to three hours (Bernstein suggests eating every four hours, but doesn't encourage snacking, as Merritt does). 

For me, hunger was the signal to eat, and now learning to eat without it is difficult. Eating high fiber veg, and protein- and fat-dense foods means I'm satiated for quite a while, and may not be hungry when it's likely a good time for me to eat. There are times when I'm just not hungry--even as I reduce the amount of food I eat.

I wonder what other people who low carb do with this challenge?

Book Review: The Diabetes Diet

Richard K. Bernstein, M.D. The Diabetes Diet: Dr. Bernstein's Low-Carbohydrate Solution. Little, Brown & Company, 2005.

Unlike the American Diabetes Association, Richard Bernstein, a medical doctor with Type 1 diabetes, believes the path to health for diabetics--and overweight nondiabetics like me--is an extremely low (low) carbohydrate food plan. He lays it out in The Diabetes Diet.
One of the book's strengths is his clear description of why high carbohydrates are fat magnets (they 1. boost insulin; 2. efficiently store carbs as fat and 3. turn off an enzyme that helps the body burn fat) and harmful for diabetics and non-diabetics alike.

Low-carbing, Bernstein says, saved his life. He was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 12, way back in 1967. Diabetics died quite young, and high-carbohydrate food plans were the norm. In addition, blood glucose meters were very expensive and sold only to hospitals.
As an adult, Bernstein didn't like the diabetes-related health problems he experienced, nor his doctor's inability to do much about them. Bernstein did so research, and got his own glucometer, then saw that blood sugar levels--and need for insulin--were significantly lower when he consumed fewer carbs. (He notes, here, that the ADA long opposed access to glucometers for people with diabetes, and still opposes their use by diabetics who don't use insulin.) Bernstein kicked his doctor to the curb, went to medical school himself, and started a practice serving those with diabetes and/or excessive fat. He has thrived for 64 years with Type 1 diabetes
A reader would be wrong to think Bernstein's is just like other better-known low  carbohydrate food plans and diets. Unlike Atkins, South Beach, and the Sonoma diets, for example, there are no phases in Bernstein's food plan: you get low and stay low. That makes sense to me. I mean, what's the point of getting off of sugar and other carbohydrates only to reintroduce them?(In contrast, however, see the results of this study.) He also scoffs at the value of the glycemic index, and rejects it.
Bernstein's plan is pretty simple:

Something Didn't Work

The best laid plans...
40 minutes after eating, I'm sitting here quite stumped.
As I wrote in my last post, my breakfast plan was to east 3 eggs, and soup made with miso, mushroom broth, and tofu. Well, something didn't work, and I'm not sure what.
I ate 1-1/2 eggs and maybe three tbsps of soup, and then stopped because. I felt full, even though I was (and am) still hungry. I also started to cramp a bit, and now have a bloated belly.

I do feel good that I stopped eating as soon as I felt full. But now what? What, exactly, was the problem?

• Was the total protein hit too much?
• Was it my choice of protein?
• Was it the combination of protein?
• Was it the volume of food? I'm pretty sure my stomach is a bit smaller now than it was pre-sick.
• Maybe my body needs even more TLC than I thought, and even non-meat (that is, egg and soy-based) protein is too much?

Short answer: I don' t know. What I do know:

• I'm still hungry.
• I'm afraid I don't have enough protein.
• I don't know what to eat.

What's Going Well

I think I've been a bit unbalanced in my self-reporting.
Several people (including strangers!) said I'm excessively self-critical. I admit I do have tendencies in that direction.
So this post reviews some of the benefits I've received from the changes in my food, myself, and the process of change.
I am much more conscious of the food I eat.  Tracking my food, observing how my body responds to the food I do eat (and, in some cases, when I eat it) has provided me many pluses. For example, I:

• Recognize much more quickly when I am eating for avoidance/to numb out versus easing hunger.
• Eat smaller quantities of food than before.
• (Usually know) when I am hungry and what it is I need to eat.
• Generally eat a lot less compulsively and inattentively than before.

I am feeling physically better than I have in quite a long time. Until I made major changes to my food (I'm referring here to letting go of dairy, grains, most sugar, peanuts, and most roasted nuts) I had no idea how many of the limitations I'd grown used to were related to food. Since then, I'm:

• Much more flexible. For example, I no longer lean on something while I bend down to put the cat dish on the floor, and no longer need to do a 3-point, 2-position maneuver to stand up after sitting on the floor.
• A whole lot less bloated.
• Digesting my food more completely.
• Feeling a lot less congested in my body.
• Haven't gotten sick, and heal much more quickly from cuts and scratches (from my cats).
• Carrying around a much smaller belly.
• Much more conscious and happy with my physical self.
• Feeling sexy and attractive in ways I've not in quite a while.
• Feeling a lot less self-conscious (which is a great match with the previous bullet point, yes?).

Boosting my protein intake in the first half of the day has really helped my memory, recall, attention span, stamina, and work output,, while reducing brain fog. Who knew?
I now eat around 100 grams of protein daily, always in the first two meals of the day. When I don't, I see a clear drop off in my recall and memory first, and then the attention span gets shot to hell (it's still a challenge, but gets even worse without sufficient protein).

My experimentation and spirit of inquiry has made it possible for me to now judge much less harshly my process, weight, and myself.  A speaker at a 12-step meeting I attended recently used a phrase that has stuck with me. "I was locked and loaded," he said, "on a fixed idea."
That was me--with my food, my concept of what I needed to do, and how I was going to do it. My original goal was to go nearly or completely all-raw, with my protein from nut and other plant sources (e.g., soy). I was not going to eat sugar, and I certainly saw no need (and had zero desire) to track, much less measure, my food. And I certainly was not going to weigh myself for at least 90 days. In fact, for months I didn't care to admit that weight had anything to do with why I was making changes.
Now I'm hammering 3 eggs and 2 pieces of meat daily. I don't eat soy. I'm testing  to see whether or not I can have some sugars (e.g., agave, honey, and cane sugar). I (generally) measure and write down the food I eat (I'm now writing it down before I eat it, to see how that affects the volume of food I eat). I weigh myself weekly, and write that down, too.
There is a wonderful ease and acceptance I've gained. I put on 1.5 pounds last week (and a pound the week before that), yet I'm not freaked out, I'm not muscling myself; I'm breathing and being with ease.  I realize I haven't been eating nearly the amount of vegetables I was last month, so I've eaten more this week. I'll weigh myself next Tuesday, and perhaps make adjustments. I might, for example, see what happens if I reduce the amount of coffee (and the coconut milk I put in it), or not eat any sweeteners.
My point is:  I'm not acting out of shame or fear (nearly as much); I'm much less reactive, too. What freedom.

Update: How Now

It's been about 3 weeks since I radically changed my food and how I eat (again). This post details what I'm doing, what's happened, and how I feel about it.

What I'm Doing Now

• I eat about 100-120 grams of protein a day, mostly at breakfast and lunch (I usually don't eat dinner as the large volume of protein pretty much carries me through the day). I also now eat about 70 grams of carbohydrates (either pinto beans or lentils) daily.
• I eat a lot of eggs and meat--a lot. Breakfast is usually 3 eggs with a 4 oz hamburger patty and 1/2 cup of pinto beans. Lunch is either another 1/2 cup of beans, more hamburger (or seafood--I really like salmon, but also eat cheaper fish and scallops. I don't eat farmed seafood) and lots of vegetables--I was eating loads of raw spinach, avocados, and tomatoes for quite a bit. Now its more zucchini (cooked), or tomatoes and sprouts (raw). I feel a broccoli phase coming on, though...
• For some reason, chicken doesn't "work" as well for me as a protein source as beef, so I don't eat it (and I stopped consuming soy products a while ago as I don't tolerate them well).
• I've (mostly) stopped eating fruit (except for blueberries and dried mulberries) as I seem to be extra sensitive to sugar (and more so as I walk this food path).
• I am now drinking coffee again. I'd stopped as I  hadn't found a good (nondairy) milk replacement, and un-milked coffee is hard for me to take. I now use coconut milk (but religiously check the label, as some brands contain rice flour/powder, and I'm not eating rice.)
• I've been able to add back small amounts of goat milk products, which is great. I sometimes use goat milk in my coffee, and have been eating a little goat cheese, too.
• As you can see, the range of food I eat is quite narrow. That is not unlike my food pattern before starting on this path, but the foods are quite different. I'm fine with it.
• At the end of August (and in spite of earlier protestations), I started capturing in my food journal what and when I ate. I write down the amount of food. It's pretty simple because I'm generally eating the same things most days. 
• I've set up an Excel spreadsheet, and am slowly entering the journal info. The spreadsheet which automatically calculates (for each food I enter) the protein, carb, fat and calorie counts.
• I'm now weighing myself weekly. I've logged the info in my food journal these last 3 weeks.

What's Happened

• The protein and the volume of food have really made a difference. That crushing, aching fatigue is nearly gone, as is the brain fog and sluggishness. I am now marveling at how much I was able to do (not at all well, of course) feeling as shitty as I was for so many months My stamina has improved, too. The ADD also is less dominant. It's easier for me to stay on task, to complete projects, and I get frustrated a lot less easily. All good.
• My weekly weight loss has ranged from 2.4 to 3.7 lbs in the last three weeks. From July 1 and 30 August I lost about 25 lbs, an average of 2.4 lbs a week. 
• It's too soon to tell if my food changes are/will affect the rate of weight loss (and I may even gain weight). 
• I stopped working out at the gym (even walking very much) in July-early August as I just didn't have the energy. I'm pretty sure I'll go back next week as I'm feeling a lot stronger.
•  The look of my body has changed. My belly is protruding a lot less, my upper arms are smaller, and I could carry a coupla rolls of quarters in each bra cup now. I also am losing fat from my face, so it has gotten saggy. Why does this surprise me? Yet it does. Now my neck looks bigger. Odd. 

 How It Feels

•  I'm pleased that I'm now more flexible on this path, much more so than when I started in June.
• The food "data capture" is emotionally challenging. I'm glad I'm doing it (for a lot of reasons, mostly to ensure I get the protein I need), but I miss the alluring fantasy always available in the not knowing. There, I can fill the future with hopes, without having to be so awake, so conscious of the results of my choices. So there's a thrill that's gone, a lost expectation of some kind of future magic awaiting me.
• As for the rest (and related, surely), most of my meals and days are full of a  feeling of plodding along, and who wants to plod?
• I feel disappointed (and, curiously, ashamed) that I'm spending time in data capture, particularly about my weight. I want these changes to be about my health, damn you, not the weight. I don't want to be concerned about my weight, would like not to be, but am. And I hate that. But why do I think I am immune--unlike millions of other people--to our culture's praise of/fawning over skinny women, and shaming of the fat ones like me?
  Eleanor Kohlsaat (at the Make Friends With Food blog) captures it well when she writes,

I’ve talked with a lot of people who say health is their number-one priority, but when it comes right down to it, weight loss is what they care about the most. And this is not surprising: in our culture, we equate thinness not only with happiness and success, but also with health. That’s the message we get from our friends, our family, TV, the Internet, and even the medical community. Weight loss will make us healthy. Weight loss at any cost.

So that's where I've been, and where I am.

What I Did

Yesterday I wrote about how I'm living with food, and focused a lot on the what and how I observe and learn from myself and my food and eating experiences.
I'm now gonna talk about what I did today, and what I've learned from it.
I drank some water, meditated, then ate a peach. My stomach got a bit gurgly, and the elbow noise started up, but I felt pretty good. And I wasn't hungry for a while (2 hours?)--until I was.
And I mean, hungry. So hungry that I couldn't think clearly about what to eat. I knew I needed protein, but I was afraid that some almond butter wouldn't be enough. So I made this: chicken sausage with garlic and onions I'd already chopped. I cooked approximately 1/4 pound of the sausage.

Not very attractive, I admit...

It tasted fine, though the throat-clearing and elbow popping started immediately. With sausage (even the free-range stuff bought at a local health food chain) you don't exactly know what you're buying. Though I'm sure there's no processed sugar, or wheat, etc. in it, there's something that's a challenge.
And I feel--full, very full, but I'm still craving protein. I'll wait for a bit, and see what happens. This has happened before. I notice it when I eat tuna, and I don't feel like I'm absorbing/using/capturing the protein (as I do with salmon and almonds, especially almond butter, and pecans). I'm also tired, almost like the sleepy I used to get from carbs.
Take Aways: (1) I digest fresh peaches really quickly, and might need to eat protein w/in half an hour of eating them; (2) I will stay away from sausage if I don't know what's in it; (3) I might need to eat even smaller servings of meat; (4) I need to diversify my protein sources; and (5) sometimes I don't trust my knowing of what I need to eat.
Living. Eating. Learning.

What Am I Doing? Fundamentals

My friends are asking me about my eating-life changes. “What,” they ask, “are you doing?” This post is the first of a series that will, I believe, answer that question.

But before I get started, there are some things you should know: