Where Did the Hunger Go?

A lack of hunger is one of the benefits of a pretty high-fat, medium-protein, and (relatively) low carbohydrate food path (aka modified ketogenic food plan). It is also quite weird, and so unlike how I've eaten--and been driven to eat--all my life. And now that I've been supplementing my minerals (particularly magnesium, sodium, and potassium), I don't have cravings anymore, either.

There's also a certain mechanistic quality, which is curious, as well. It isn't to say that I don't look forward to eating certain foods, like salmon, for example. But it does mean that I eat because I know that's something I need to do, versus something I'm driven to do by cravings or sugar crashes/insulin rushes. I generally eat two meals a day, with the occasional snack, such as pork rinds or blueberries. (When I feel like a snack, in fact, I know it's time to eat).

I try to keep my meals about four or more hours apart, primarily so I can keep as low a level of insulin in my bloodstream as possible, one of the tools I learned from Dr. Bernstein's The Diabetes Diet. Though I'm not a diabetic, I was once diagnosed as insulin-resistant, meaning my body's cells had a diminished ability to respond to insulin. Or, as Laura Dolson says, "Insulin resistance happens when the cells essentially don't open the door when insulin comes knocking." This is a major reason I began eating low carb. Anything I can do to not boost insulin unnecessarily, I will do. 

For the same reason, I also make a point of not starting a meal with a carbohydrate, unless it is a slow-acting one, like spinach or salad greens. The one exception is if I'm going to the gym to lift within an hour or so of eating

The Familiar, Anew

I've been tracking my food and nutritional intake for the last few days, and can't help but marvel at how valuable the information is.
At the same time, I'm also feeling a growing and familiar resistance to capturing this information (including the measurement of the quantities of foods I consume). I wrote about this in August (Longing to Linger Longer in the Vague). It is as if I want to rebel against myself for having to be this conscious, for being required to know what goes in my mouth and how it affects me.
A few minutes ago I was making a shopping list, and checked out my blueberry supply. Now, blueberries are a wonderful food, and mostly carbohydrate. I have been keeping my carbs to about 30 40 grams daily and, to do that, one really needs to be conscious and careful about what goes in the mouth.
So what do I do? I sneak a forkful of berries, and feel like I'd gotten away with something. Who am I sneaking this from? Myself. Who am I harming/not treating well by not measuring the food? Myself.
It is as if there is a collision between old behavior I developed growing up and the needs I have as an adult trying to live differently with food. Put differently, I don't need to rebel or sneak food from myself, yet somehow I gain an emotional kick from coloring outside the nutritional lines, as it were.

Back from the Dead. Now What?

 I was laid low this week with a bum stomach--projectile explosions from both ends, spine-cracking cramps, and chills, chills, chills. I first thought it was stomach flu, but now believe it was a bout of E. coli from meat left out of the cooler.

Not surprisingly, my food changed, and in a big way. I had no appetite, and consumed small portions of ginger ale, bananas, blueberries, and ginger chews, and rice cakes. I've also been swilling mushroom (and some chicken) broth. It felt as if the illness stripped my entire intestinal flora from my body, and that I wasn’t digesting even small amounts of these bland foods.

As it was happening, I saw this experience as a problem, a big one, until I saw an email from a woman in my Women & Food Group. Jill recently came down with bronchial pneumonia. Lily wrote her an email and commented, “The body has some interesting ways of cleansing itself.”

My thinking about the vomiting et al shifted after reading this. Thinking of the significant discomfort and unpleasantness as a kind of re-set of my gastro-intestinal system—and my eating—now feels like a more accurate and helpful way of viewing this experience. And, once again, I get to experiment with eating differently, finding out what my body needs in this time.

“So,” thought I, “What would I do if I had a clean slate—er, stomach?” I would introduce new flora in my digestive tract. Kefir (a fermented milk drink) has lots of probiotics, so I went out got some raw goat milk kefir, and some sauerkraut, which also contains them. For the last couple of days I’ve been eating sauerkraut first and last thing in the day, and a couple of times throughout the day.

I’m not feeling like eating meat right now, which is significant. I was eating large volumes of protein to help with my attention deficit disorder, and have noticed the lack has affected my focus, concentration, and memory.

However, I’m a bit afraid of it, too, and not up to digesting it right now. I also was increasingly conflicted about my growing embrace of Buddhism—a key tenet of which is not killing or causing harm to other beings—and chomping on meat. (Then again, the Dali Lama eats meat, supposedly because his doctor told him he needed to do so, and other Buddhists do eat meat.)

Right now, my body is hungry for vegetables and mushroom broth. My mouth, however, wants fat and sugar. I need to eat protein. What to do? Satisfy the body’s hunger and needs, and not the mouth’s.

The New Food, Now

My first meal today will be a bowl of mushroom broth with garlic, a teaspoon of miso, some spinach, and two servings of silken tofu. I’m also going to eat 3 boiled eggs (I’m shying away from fat, so scrambling them isn’t attractive right now). That will give me about 30 grams of protein, versus the 42 I’d get from the eggs with a 4 oz beef patty. That protein hit was extremely valuable, so I am concerned about the shortfall. (I may add a small portion of beans and a corn tortilla to boost the protein load.) I may have the same meal for dinner (without the beans and tortilla).

I am again trying to stay away from sugar, including fruit, and other carbs. A key reason is that I now have a yeast infection, both from the die-off of the healthy flora and the swilling of ginger ale and other sugars. Unfortunately, I have been craving sugar. Some of that is Candida-driven. It also happens when I don’t get enough protein. 

I have a lot of gratitude around this process: gratitude for my spirit of inquiry, for my willingness, for food to eat, and food options.

Got My Goat (Milk)

I was a goat milk virgin until 2 hours ago. I'd never had the opportunity to drink it--and never sought it, either. Somehow goat milk was in that brain category entitled, "Nothing Good Will Come of This." What did I think would happen--I would grow horns, get gamey breath, and start headbutting people?